Becoming One with the Tao
Letting Go of Tension and Carrying Stillness into Everyday Life
You open your eyes in the morning. Before you have even left your bed, your mind has already gone to work.
The tasks waiting for you. Yesterday’s unanswered messages. Your bank balance. Your family’s health. Your plans for the future. Your body is still beneath the covers, but your thoughts are running in several directions at once.
Sometimes we feel exhausted before the day has even begun.
That is why I would like to offer a simple invitation: become a person of the Tao.
You do not have to retreat to the mountains, give up your phone, or leave your job. The invitation is to practice living in a complicated world without losing touch with yourself.
Imagine being able to concentrate when you work, rest when you rest, and respond thoughtfully when difficulties arise. Imagine enjoying happy moments without trying to hold on to them forever.
A person who lives this way can be found on a subway, in an office, or at the family dinner table.
Let the Body Show You How to Let Go
The following stories are fictional illustrations of familiar everyday experiences.
Minsu spends most of his day at a computer. One afternoon, a colleague asks, “Is something wrong today?”
“No. Why?”
“Your shoulders have been practically touching your ears.”
Only then does Minsu notice his body. His jaw is clenched, his abdomen is tight, and his hand is gripping the mouse far more firmly than necessary.
He looks away from the screen for a moment. He softens his jaw and lets his shoulders settle. Instead of trying to take an impressive deep breath, he simply allows himself to breathe out comfortably.
His workload has not changed. His inbox is still full. Yet he has a little more room to read the next sentence.
This is where relaxation begins.
We are accustomed to thinking harder when we want to solve a problem. Sometimes, however, the first useful step is to notice the unnecessary effort we are holding in our bodies.
As you read, take a moment to check in. Is your tongue pressing firmly against the roof of your mouth? Are your fingers curled tightly? Are you holding your back rigid because you are trying so hard to sit correctly?
If you find tension, allow a little of it to soften. You can even release the effort to relax perfectly.
Give your body a small opening toward ease.
Does Stillness Mean Having No Thoughts
“When I sit quietly, I seem to think even more. Maybe meditation just isn’t for me.”
This is a familiar response when we first explore stillness.
Picture a glass jar filled with muddy water. If you keep shaking it to make the water clear, the sediment continues to rise. Struggling to eliminate thoughts can feel much the same.
Set the jar down. Let your thoughts be there for a moment.
“I’m worried about tomorrow.”
“That comment is still bothering me.”
Once you notice what is happening, gently return your attention to the feeling of your feet or the sounds around you. If you become absorbed in thought again, return again.
Stillness here is the freedom to let a thought arise without having to follow it wherever it goes.
Within that freedom, a small discovery becomes possible: worry is present, but worry is not all that I am. Anger is here, but this moment of anger does not define my whole being.
The Mind Beyond the Voice of Ego
The ego speaks in a voice we know well.
“I have to prove that I’m right.”
“What will they think of me?”
“If I fail again, it’s all over.”
The wish to protect ourselves and be recognized is natural. When that voice begins directing every part of the day, however, even small encounters can become exhausting tests of our worth.
We can create space around this voice without hating it or trying to destroy it. We can hear it without immediately obeying it.
I describe the clear awareness we encounter in that space as the true self, or Pure Mind.
Some understand this experience as a connection with the Tao. Others describe it as oneness, a sense of belonging to a greater whole. Still others speak of encountering the divine in the quiet of the heart.
These expressions have different meanings in different traditions. Here, I use them as spiritual language for experiences that reach beyond habitual self-centered thinking, rather than as interchangeable names for a scientifically established entity.
The purity of Pure Mind does not mean moral perfection or the complete absence of unwelcome thoughts. It means a mind willing to see its own desires and fears honestly.
You do not need to see a special light or experience an extraordinary sensation to approach it.
It may be present when you listen without interrupting. When you look at the sky and briefly stop comparing yourself with others. When you give your attention to the task before you instead of continually wondering how you are being judged.
In such ordinary moments, the boundaries we build around ourselves can soften a little.
Before You Send the Angry Message
Late one evening, Jiyeon receives a message that seems to dismiss all the effort she has made.
She immediately begins typing: “You always do this.”
The reply grows longer. Old disappointments arrive, one after another, demanding a place in the conversation.
Then she stops. She realizes that she has been holding her breath while staring at the screen.
She puts down her phone and feels the weight of her body against the chair. After a moment, she asks herself, “What am I really trying to protect?”
At first, the answer is, “The fact that I’m right.” Then another answer becomes clearer: “I want to be treated with respect. And I want us to resolve this.”
She rewrites her message.
“That wording made me feel that my effort was being dismissed. I’d like to talk tomorrow about exactly what concerned you.”
Her anger has not vanished. But she has stopped allowing it to write every sentence for her.
Stillness gives us room to choose our response.
Sometimes that response is a clear refusal. Sometimes it means leaving an unfair situation or asking for support. A peaceful mind can help us recognize what action is needed and take it more clearly.
Letting Go Can Help Us See Our Work More Clearly
Junho is preparing for an important presentation. One thought keeps repeating: “I must not make a mistake. I have to impress them.”
He has practiced extensively, yet his own voice sounds awkward to him. Whenever he stumbles over a sentence, he starts again from the beginning.
He pauses and changes the question.
Instead of asking, “How will they judge me?” he asks, “What do I want these people to understand?”
Now he can see which details to leave out. He can replace complicated phrases with simple examples. The purpose of the presentation becomes clear again.
On the day itself, he still feels nervous. He notices his feet on the floor and speaks the first sentence slowly. His attention begins to move from monitoring himself to communicating what matters.
This is one way inner practice enters our working lives. Loosening our grip on the outcome can leave more attention available for the actions we can take now.
We still prepare carefully. We still consider feedback afterward. We simply stop placing our entire sense of worth in the hands of a single evaluation.
What It Means to Return to Peace
Must we remain calm even when someone we love dies, our health changes, or years of effort fall apart?
That expectation can become another heavy burden.
We can grieve. We can feel afraid. We can lose our balance. Years of practice do not remove our humanity.
To make peace a direction in life is to practice noticing when we are unsettled, caring for ourselves, accepting support when needed, and finding our way back toward our center.
Some days, we return quickly. On others, it takes time.
Please do not turn the practice into another accusation: “Why can’t I even let go?” Letting go also includes easing the pressure we place on ourselves to do it perfectly.
If anxiety or distress persists and significantly disrupts sleep or daily life, seeking professional support is also an act of self-care.
Three Daily Moments of Stillness
You can begin with three small pauses in the day.
In the morning, meet your body before you meet your phone.
Feel your feet touch the floor. Notice your jaw and shoulders. Allow your breathing to be comfortable, without forcing it to become deeper or slower. Then choose one intention for the day.
“Today, I will let people finish speaking.”
“Even when I need to hurry, I can notice whether I am tightening my whole body.”
During the day, pause before reacting.
When an uncomfortable message or an unexpected problem arrives, notice the tension in your body. You may find it useful to name the emotion briefly.
“I feel anxious.”
“I feel hurt because my effort seems unrecognized.”
Then ask, “What is one wise action I can take now?”
In the evening, make room to bring the day to a close.
If something remains unfinished, write down one next step for tomorrow. Instead of replaying an upsetting scene indefinitely, identify one thing you can learn from it.
Then allow your body to rest for a while.
You do not have to solve every problem before you deserve to rest.
You Can Carry Groceries and Still Walk with the Tao
You are waiting at the supermarket checkout. The person ahead of you is searching for a wallet.
A familiar voice rises within: “Why does this always happen in my line?”
Notice what you are carrying. Along with your groceries, you may be holding the expectation that everything should move at your preferred speed.
You still need to carry the groceries. You can set that expectation down for a moment.
If you are in a hurry, you might choose another line. If you decide to wait, you can soften your shoulders as you do so.
There is practice in this small choice.
The path continues through ordinary life: talking with family, finishing a task, or meeting a day that has not gone as planned. Again and again, we can feel our bodies, notice the movements of the mind, and choose the next action with care.
Through relaxation, we enter stillness. In stillness, we encounter a clearer mind. Carrying that clarity, we return to daily life.
Gradually, peace becomes a place we can return to even in the middle of a busy day.
For now, let your shoulders settle.
Bring your attention to the one thing in front of you.
The practice of living with the Tao begins right there.
In Stillness We Meet the Sacred
At the heart of my spiritual understanding lies this conviction: when we reach stillness, we can encounter God. When we reach stillness, we can come into harmony with the Tao. When we reach stillness, we can meet the pure, true self.
As the need to prove, possess, and control begins to soften, we make room to recognize the sacred within our lives. We can carry that quiet connection into our work, our relationships, and the ordinary responsibilities of the day.
In the language of my own spiritual practice, I express it simply:
Stillness is God.
Stillness is true peace.
May we return to that stillness, and live from it, one ordinary moment at a time.
David S. Park L.Ac, Dipl. O.M., DAcCHM, PhD
Founder of Scalar Nature Medicine and Scalar Do Hyun Gong
About Zen-Acu Natural Well-Being Clinic
Led by Dr. David Park, DAcCHM, Ph.D., LAc., Dipl. O.M., Zen-Acu in Fort Lee, New Jersey brings together acupuncture, herbal medicine, and Scalar Nature Medicine education to support whole-person well-being.
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